How to Reframe Loneliness Amidst a Scandal

Mary and Joseph lived in the shadow of a scandal.  

The angel’s words to Mary, “You will conceive and give birth to a son…” Luke 1:31, and her subsequent question, “How will this be, …since I am a virgin?” in Luke 1:34 set the scene.

In Matthew’s account of the birth of Christ, Joseph’s view is illuminated:

“Because Joseph…was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.[1] But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him…
‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife….’” - Matthew 1:19-20

This young, faithful couple—faithful to God, their community, and to each other—were in the middle of a holy set-up of massive proportions! You can just see the collective heads in their community turning: “Pregnancy? By who? Oh, come on. Joseph? Mary? What’s happening here?”

Rumors would fly. They were certainly misunderstood.

Mary and Joseph were gifted with the responsibility and burden of carrying the promises of God, in the form of the Christ Child, but for now, the promises looked like promiscuity and problems.

You have to remember that for the people of God, sex outside the context of marriage, then and now, is not sanctioned. Thankfully, today, we’re not under a law that demands a stoning as it did then! How utterly alone they must have felt in their situation.

Maybe you relate. Maybe you’re wrapping up 2019 carrying secrets, heavy loads, peculiar pieces or promises that have you waking up at 3AM with, What do I do? Where do I turn? How do I handle this? at the front of your heart and mind.
Here are three suggestions that will help: 

1. Ask God: “God, is there anyone at all I can share this load with without betraying trust, relationship or professionalism?”  

2. Let It Go: Maybe you’re in a situation where you can speak frankly, but nothing you say seems to help. Then you recognize your loneliness is real and out of your control. There’s no more you can do. Sometimes, that’s just the way it goes, despite our very best intensions and efforts.

3. Reframe: I want you to know, once again, you are not truly alone. Use those feelings of dishonor, mistrust, and misunderstanding to turn your attention to God who Himself became a scandal and entrusted Himself to two who could carry the burden and walk the lonely road with integrity and godliness. In your apparent loneliness, you are more acquainted with Jesus, who at His birth and throughout His ministry was not recognized by His own people, and had no honor is His own country. This situation allows you to uniquely identify with Him.

And ultimately that’s what we want—to better know God.

I pray God lifts the heaviness you carry. I pray you recognize you can’t control the situation, and yet can still walk with honor and integrity. And I pray that in it all, you become more acquainted with Jesus this season.

I’m real because He’s so real.

~ Nancy

[1] They were engaged, but in that context, it was a legal binding.