Make the List

In the early years of our marriage, Cam and I were struggling. Struggling with sex, struggling about how much money we’d spend on, well, just about everything from basics to luxuries, struggling to figure out our roles, struggling over power, struggling with identity. You know, the usual marital stuff. 

We finally went to a counselor. (If you’ve snagged my Meant to Live: Six Sessions course, you may have already heard me recount this situation only with more story color!)

We talked a while, and the counselor did the compulsory, “Tell me about your families. Your parents. Cam? Nancy?”

At that point in my life, I compartmentalized it all.

“Oh, I didn’t have a father. I mean, I did, but he was abusive and then left when I was five… so, he doesn’t count for anything. I mean, he’s irrelevant.”

At the end of our time, the counselor sent me away with an assignment. He said, “Nancy, I’d like you to spend some time with God this week and make a list of all you’d like Cam to be to David and Aaron. Everything you can imagine.” 

I was psyched! Perfect, counselor. Bingo! You get it. I’ll do just that.

If you’re a mom and you’re like me and had a dad who was abusive or absent (either literally deserted you, was rarely there, or who stayed, but whose heart and mind were far, far from you), would you do the same this week?

Trust me. Make the list. 

God, I’d like ________ to be this, to do these things for my children.

Make the list. And, as the counselor did with me, I’ll circle back with you next week. 

Love you, dear one,
~Nancy