To Have Real Conversations, Be Curious: Morgan Harper Nichols

Series 1

Jan 19

Newsflash: if you’re not curious about the people you’re talking to, if you’re not curious to befriend and get to know others, then you’re missing out on some incredible connections that can make your life even more rich. It’s hard to believe that Morgan Harper Nichols, the viral Instagram poet and artist, battled self-doubt. But Morgan reveals that when she began to take the pressure off herself as an introvert, and when she began to get curious and started connecting with people one on one and learning their stories, she began to unlock her creativity. And today, Morgan tells the stories she’s learned about from those new connections in her beautiful art, and through her two books, All Along You Were Blooming and her brand-new one, How Far You Have Come. Morgan and Nancy talk about how to set fear aside and become more open and vulnerable, how to hit hard topics head on, and why embracing curiosity as we talk to other people can not only make us better communicators—it can create a world filled with more love and empathy.

Shrug off toxic expectations and limitations, and step into joy, purpose, and direction. Register for AWAKEN at nancyhickslive.com/awaken!

You can also listen to this episode wherever you find your favorite podcasts, including iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, Amazon Music, and much more.

Show Summary

Hi, everyone. Nancy Hicks here. Welcome back to So What? Why It Matters podcast. We're forging ahead in our Better Communications series. And I'm loving the topics in this series that our team picked to unpack with you. The listening, the connecting.

So let me set the scene for what we're going to talk about today. When we look at the ways we communicate with our family and our friends and our colleagues, most of us use sort of the same two or three methods pretty consistently. Whether we're texting, typing emails, staying connected through social media, Facebook, Instagram, whatever. We're all sort of set in our ways and we even talk to the same people too.

Think about it. When was the last time you made a new friend? Not that it's been easy to meet new people and expand our horizons in a pandemic. Trust me, I do get that.

But when I think about the ways we could connect with each other a little more deeply through the ways we communicate, I think about all the conversations we might be missing out on simply because we haven't been open. It takes time to be open. It's scary to be open. Vulnerability can feel terrifying, like we're putting ourselves out on a limb with no guarantee we won't fall in the mud, look silly, be embarrassed, or worse, that someone might actually hurt the soft interior we try so hard to protect.

But listen, I've learned that any relationship worth having means risking a little bit because no matter what, you're going to get tenfold in return.

And that includes the barbs and stings that are going to come your way, for sure. And to jumpstart those relationships, we have to learn to stay curious. Because curious people keep their eyes and their ears open to new people and new opportunities.

Curious people ask questions. You learn more and it will take you deeper. And that's where the good stuff is.

So today, I'm so pleased to share my conversation with a young woman who's been thinking about the ways that we move through the world and share our stories with each other. And her name is Morgan Harper Nichols, and I know most of you know her work.

Morgan's a triple threat. She's an artist, a poet and a musician who's inspired millions of people through her art.

She's the author of a beautiful book of poetry called All Along You Were Blooming. Isn't that gorgeous? And a brand new one called How Far You Have Come. Plus, she's the host of a podcast called The Morgan Harper Nichols Show. OK, when does this woman sleep? I'm not sure, but I have to tell you that I'm already inspired by her sheer work ethic alone.

And here's the thing about Morgan, whether she's cheering on her followers to push past their obstacles and follow their dreams, or whether she's tackling some of the hardest and most important issues of our time, like systemic racism. She's a master at sharing her heart with her audience. And we're going to talk with her about the way she stays curious and engaged with the world around her, even when it's tough.

I think you'll really enjoy hearing from Morgan, so without further ado, here's my conversation with Morgan Harper Nichols.

So What? Moments

Morgan
The world needs more people who are generous, who are open, who are willing to give of themselves, even if they don't have to. I think that the world will be a better place the more we can all—myself included—practice that more in our daily life.

Nancy
When you hear something that sounds different, sounds maybe a little bit unappealing, you're not accustomed to it, something that you feel uncomfortable with immediately, something that just sounds maybe utterly different to you, and you're like, What the heck? I want you to just relax, take a breath. I want to encourage you to stay open.

Thought-Provoking Quotes

“I have dealt with a lot of self-doubt in my life. . . . The thing that unlocked me was when I realized, Oh, just by talking to people and by connecting with people one on one, that's where creativity really starts to stir with me.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

“Everything that we do and everything that we share, it's about connection and relationship.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

“We don't have to know someone deeply or intimately to have empathy for their story. I feel like that's the biggest lesson that I'm learning from this, and I continue to learn.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

"For any introvert who's even been in ministry, you're just like, Where do I even belong here? I don't have that energy. What am I supposed to do?'" – Morgan Harper Nichols

“There are times where, if I’m getting stressed out about an Instagram algorithm or whatever, sometimes I just ask myself, Would Maya [Angelou] care about this? No.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

“It is a sacred space, it is a holy space for me to sit and to be able to just let go through art. Because it's hard to feel like in the real world, you're just free to just let go and make mistakes and just try things.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

"I do hope that when it comes to raising [my son] that he knows he has permission not to hold it all in, not feel like, You have to be perfect and get it all right, that there's grace for him to really work through whatever it is that he is going to work through." – Morgan Harper Nichols

“Everybody's different. In order to be able to sit down at that table and have a meal, there is so much humility and patience that has to go into place in order for that meal to be a healthy, safe space for everyone.” – Morgan Harper Nichols

“I think as human beings, that's our responsibility: we have to look out for each other. We absolutely have to. And I know that’s why I'm where I am today, because of people who've looked out for me—people who didn't have to.” – Morgan Harper Nichols