“I’m Not Okay. I Need Help.” – Auntie Anne Beiler’s Journey Through Depression

Series 2

Feb 9

Today we turn a page in the So What? Chapter and begin a brand-new series—this time, we’re talking about *real* self-care. Let’s be honest: when it comes to self-care, many of us think it’s as simple as drawing a warm bath or reaching for a good book—which are totally valid ways to care for yourself. But sometimes, we need a little something more. We need to treat the real problem and not just the symptoms so can truly care of ourselves. In this episode, we’re diving straight into the deep end and talking about how to care for mental health with a fierce mental health advocate named Anne Beiler—you probably know her as Auntie Anne of Auntie Anne’s Pretzels. Today Nancy and Anne walk through Anne’s incredible life story from growing up in an Amish family and becoming the family baker, to marrying at 19, to losing her 19-month-old daughter Angie and falling into a deep depression spiral that led to years of suffering trauma and abuse at the hands of someone she trusted. Anne shares how she battled her way back to health and clarity to build an empire while rebuilding her mental health—and why asking someone for help is the first step toward healing.

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Show Summary

Well, hello there, Nancy Hicks here, and welcome back to So What? Why It Matters. Today we're kicking off our next series and we're going to focus on the importance of self-care.

2020 was a beast and now it's winter and we're still in a pandemic.And when the regular hardships of life get added to the mix, it's a recipe for disaster. So my hope and my prayer for this series is to give you handles and hooks to hold on to and guide you through this winter, stories and testimonies of people who've made it through times like these. I truly pray that you catch a glimpse or a bold vision that caring for the one person you actually have some control over, yourself, is imperative.

So fair warning: we're diving right into the deep end. I figure life's like that sometimes, right? COVID hit - I wasn't prepared, were you? Cancer hit our family and I was given no notice. So I figure life really is just like that sometimes, so why not start our series by doing just that, diving into the deep end?

When it comes to self-care, most of us imagine a relaxing bubble bath, a long walk, maybe a glass of wine - a moment of peace in our busy days. And if that's a part of self-care for you, awesome. Keep it up!

Of course it's important to make time to care for ourselves every single day, even if it's something small. But during this series, I want us all to look a little deeper inside ourselves so we can figure out what our minds and our souls really need to thrive every single day.

So today, we're going to talk about mental health. Caring for your mental health is a topic that so many people still don't want to talk about. I do feel like we're actually getting better at the vulnerability around our mental state. I don't think the stigma is there as much as it once was. But we've still got a long way to go.

In a world that's constantly pushing for perfect, whether you know it or not, showing someone else we're actually struggling can be risky. You can sometimes feel like you're the only one who feels overwhelmed and anxious or confused or maybe even depressed, but that's a lie.

So listen to this: according to the World Health Organization, more than 260 million people across the world deal with depression on a regular basis. And women are two times more likely to be clinically diagnosed with depression than men.

Now, let me say this. That is a statistic that was quoted before COVID-19 hit. So can you imagine what the statistics are now? Those statistics reflect the people who've actually said, I'm tired of feeling chronically alone or, I'm tired of feeling depressed and have actually asked for help. But think about the millions more who are suffering silently.

But listen: if you're struggling with your mental health, if you think you have to carry this all by yourself because no one else will do it for you, you do not have to carry this alone.

Or maybe you know you can't carry it alone, but the people you've trusted haven't seemed to help much. Maybe they've made you feel even worse or more alone. That's why we're here together right now, and I'm asking you to try again. To say one more time, “Here's what I'm struggling with and I need help.” That's a big step toward true self-care.

So today, if you're struggling with the mental load that you're carrying, then I'm so glad you're here to listen to my guest.

You know her as Auntie Anne of Auntie Anne's Pretzels. Yeah, those pretzels, the big soft ones that you love to eat when you're shopping at the mall or you're running through the airport. Her name is Anne Beiler, and wait until you hear the journey she's been on. Anne has battled her way through shame and depression to become not only a successful entrepreneur, but a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and a fierce mental health advocate. I pray that you'll get so much out of our conversation today.

So What? Moments

Anne Beiler

Pick up the phone. Write a note and say “I just want and need you to know right now I’m in a very bad place. I am not okay.” Anytime you reach out for help, that’s humility and brokenness. You know what? That’s what God honors.

Nancy

You get to choose your response. And here's what I'm going to encourage you to do today: open your mouth and reach out to someone and say, “I need help.” Just start there.

Thought-Provoking Quotes

“Trauma changes you.” - Anne Beiler

“The grief that I was in, it was deeper than words. My vocabulary, I didn't know how to express what I was feeling, so I didn't say anything.” - Anne Beiler, on losing her daughter Angie

“I thought that I was going to die spiritually. A little bit every day, I felt less and less and less of me, and more and more of the perpetrator, and more and more of the dark world was becoming my life. In this place of great pain and disappointment, you really believe ... you cannot discern truth from lies anymore. As I kept that secret for all those years, nobody knew what was going on in my life.” - Anne Beiler, on experiencing pastoral sexual abuse

“I think sometimes when I'm looking at people who have endured things like this, it's a holy moment to just honor what you've endured.” - Nancy Hicks

“In 1988, Auntie Anne's started because Jonas wanted to do free counseling to anyone who came. We were not making any money. I went to market, and I started selling soft pretzels so I could support him. Auntie Anne's was created as a vehicle to give.” - Anne Beiler

“Auntie Anne’s is a modern day business miracle. It should never have happened. God in His sovereign will and in His plan for our lives miraculously gave us a pretzel. Then He gave me a platform to share my story for God's glory.” - Anne Beiler

“Nothing will ever change in your life until you begin to talk.” - Anne Beiler

“When you begin to tell your story, when you begin to talk, it means that you will have to relive your past, somewhat. But as you begin to talk about it, you get lighter and lighter.” - Anne Beiler

“I have listened to thousands of women talk. At the end of the day, the only way that you will learn to overcome is you learn to talk. You learn to communicate. You begin to talk about what it is that you're feeling. You begin to be real with yourself. You begin to be real with God and you begin to be real with other people that you can trust, people that you are safe with.” - Anne Beiler

“My response to whatever happens to me is my responsibility.” - Anne Beiler

“As long as we're blaming other people for where we're at in life, we will never experience healing. We will never experience freedom.” - Anne Beiler

“Anytime you reach out for help, that's humility and brokenness. You know what? That's what God honors.” - Anne Beiler