And Yet...He Lives

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die” (John 11:25).

Recently, Cam and I walked across the street to a neighbor’s yard for a casual gathering. Small and low key. That’s our speed right now. 

As we approached the small circle of people relaxing in an assortment of lawn and Adirondack chairs circled around a fire pit, I realized I didn’t know a good handful of them. Usually not an issue for me.

Tonight? An issue for me.

Still, we shook hands and introduced ourselves and Cam and I pulled out our lawn chairs we’d carted across the street. 

One jovial extrovert in a polo shirt, Vineyard Vines-patterned shorts in sorbet hues and boat shoes elevated his voice across the circle:

“So you guys have kids?”

“Yes, two sons and a daughter-in-law,” I calmly answered for us.

“Nice. And where are they?”

I gulped, but stayed calm.

“Our younger son, Aaron and his wife, Rachel, have a house just ten minutes from here. They’re both in business. Our older son, David, just died on May 1st.” My voice felt like it took on a life of its own as it produced the words that could not - I mean could not - be my own. I just put those words right out there to fly across the circle of this little informal gathering of strangers. 

“Oh, shoot. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” he apologized.

“No. It’s ok. I’ve rehearsed that phrase for moments just like these,” I said flatly. 

And though I said those words just like that that evening, that’s actually not what I believe, I just didn’t want to get into it. Here’s what I really believe: Yes, David did pass through the inevitable portal of death. My David died. 

And yet, David lives. 

Where is he now? David lives in some place called Heaven. And in truth, there’s very little I really know about it. I’ve never been there. I have little experience of Heaven. 

Oh, sure I can tell you some ideas as a Bible teacher, but it’s quite another to consider these things as a grieving mother. It’s one thing to handle obscurities when it’s theological, or even when it’s your parent who’s died. But it’s a whole other thing when it’s your beloved son: Where is he? I mean, right now? What’s he doing? Today, at this very moment?

David did die. And David lives. In Heaven. If what I believe about God securing eternal life for us through Jesus Christ is true – and I do believe it’s true – then David is more alive today then he was when I could hold him and kiss his soft, smooth cheek.

I’m real because God is so real.

~Nancy