Faith in the Firestorm: Nancy’s Lament During Her Own Storm
We begin a brand-new series this week on So What? And it’s one that couldn’t come too soon, especially after the harsh year we’ve experienced around the globe: we’re talking about how to walk through a season where our faith is tested by extreme circumstances, and how we can come out on the other side. Nancy vulnerably shares about her own faith firestorm, one that she and her family have unthinkably found themselves in: Nancy’s 28-year-old son David, a student pursuing law and public policy at Harvard, has been battling Stage IV colon cancer for two years. Nancy turns to the book of Lamentations and a few moments with Jesus to remind us that lamenting is an integral part of our faith experience, and why exploring our questions and doubts is so important to our journey. She guides us through four actionable steps that have helped her as she moves through her own faith firestorm, and reminds us that our faith isn’t tied to an outcome—it’s tied to a Someone. And no matter what happens to us, God is still so, so good.
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Show Summary
Hi there, Nancy Hicks here. Welcome to So What? Why It Matters.
We are starting our faith in the firestorm series today. And maybe you feel like addressing this topic couldn't come soon enough for you. You've been living it. You've been holding on, white-knuckling it for a while, and I hear you. That’s why we're devoting this next series to unpacking some practical ways to help you move through your darkest moments, and bring you out on the other side stronger and more hopeful, because you've persevered.
It's also March, and March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month. It just so happens that there is a direct correlation between faith and the firestorm and colon cancer for me. My older son David is battling Stage IV colon cancer and has been since his diagnosis in 2019. David was 26 when he was diagnosed.
So my family and I are right smack in the middle of the fiercest storm we have ever, and I mean ever been in.
In May of 2019, David had been experiencing some blood in his stool. And the doctors all told him, "Don't worry about it, it's probably just hemorrhoids. Get in when you can and maybe have a colonoscopy.”
David's currently in his third year as a graduate student, doing a double major in public policy and law at Harvard. So two years ago, it was his first year as a law student, and he was pretty busy. But he scheduled the colonoscopy, figuring it'd be nothing, just like the doctor said.
My husband, Cam, and I were together when we got the call from David in May 2019. We answered the phone, and he was crying. "Mom and Dad, they found a tumor in my colon, and I was taken right from the colonoscopy to tests and MRIs."
The three of us just sobbed over the phone.
Cam and I headed up to Boston from our home in Philadelphia. The next day, the three of us sat in utter disbelief as the oncologist at Dana Farber said to us, "David, you have colon cancer." And then he swiveled in the chair, looked at Cam and me, and he said, "Mom and Dad, your son has colon cancer. Do you understand? Your lives are forever changed."
I also remember the doctor saying, “I see 400 of these a year. But David, I see two of you.” Meaning, colon cancer in young men and women is so rare.
And I was swirling, just swirling.
So for the last couple of years, we've been in the hardest, fiercest firestorm. The cancer's gone from his colon, to liver, to lungs, back to liver. And like a champ, David continued his studies at Harvard and in fact began building an organization called CRC Change. Right now, he's back on chemotherapy. It's harsh and exhausting. My go-getter, phenomenal son is withdrawn, actually, as he walks this lonely journey where daily he's threatened by the very real possibility of death.
So what does faith in the firestorm look like for me? I cannot speak for David. I wouldn't dare. This is his journey with God. But I will speak of my own firestorm journey so that together, you and I can explore what faith in the firestorm could look like for you. And as always, lofty platitudes about God or about faith that shimmer with positivity are just never my aim. I find they add more burden, particularly in times like this.
This “chin-up, keep the faith” approach only works when you're not able to get all the to-dos done on your list in a day, or your kid doesn't get the teacher of their choice. But when life strikes you hard, that approach is not going to cut it. Now's the time to take what we've studied and said we believed—and some of us have studied and said we believed a lot of things for a lot of years—and we take those things and give them teeth.
Thought-Provoking Quotes
“Firestorms help wake people up to who God is.” - Nancy Hicks
“I don't know exactly who He is. But I do know based on scripture and on the testimony of thousands upon thousands of people throughout millennia, throughout the world, and based on my very own experience of God, I know this: He is loving. He is good. And He is faithful.” - Nancy Hicks
“No, you do not need more faith. You have the faith that's already full and complete, perfected and finished. What we need to do while living it out is actually begin to lean into that faith that's based on God's work. We need to yank it out when life hits.” - Nancy Hicks
“The entire earth is groaning and weeping, and it's an appropriate response to the brokenness of this planet. So you [go ahead and] weep. You lament. You'd be weird, frankly, and disconnected not to mourn and grieve.” - Nancy Hicks
“The extent to which I'm able to be honest with God about the sorrow in my soul is the extent to which genuine life and joy and confidence and strength—doesn't that begin to sound like the working out of our faith?—is released in me. They're equal in measure.” - Nancy Hicks
“God is faithful. God is able. And based on previous experience with this almighty God, anything, anything can happen to transcend this situation. And we walk by that faith, not by sight.” - Nancy Hicks
Resources Mentioned in This Episode